mylifeinmegabytes:

So one of my friends broke her arm falling off her porch and her hot neighbor friend took her to the emergency room. When she about to get a xray the technician asked “is there any possibility of you being pregnant?” and she’s like “No” the technician looked at her, looked the the hot neighbor friend then look back at her and asked "Are you sure?"

This book gives me more information about penguins than I care to have.

In 1944 a children’s book club sent a volume about penguins to a 10-year-old girl, enclosing a card seeking her opinion.

She wrote, “This book gives me more information about penguins than I care to have.”

American diplomat Hugh Gibson called it the finest piece of literary criticism he had ever read.

(via siftingflour)

caseyanthonyofficial:

Why do people never want to tell you their middle name like who gives a shit its not a nuclear launch code its your damn name

njena:

i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells

(Source: doppelgender)

ceruleancynic:

captaingumdrop:

muddaytires:

1037135:

self-dunk

……”uh oh”

you can see the exact moment where it realizes how bad it fucked up

I have been sitting here giggling at this for 5 minutes straight
sleek and elegant predator right here yo

ceruleancynic:

captaingumdrop:

muddaytires:

1037135:

self-dunk

……”uh oh”

you can see the exact moment where it realizes how bad it fucked up

I have been sitting here giggling at this for 5 minutes straight

sleek and elegant predator right here yo

(Source: gifak-net)

m-eg:

i hate those friendships that just end for no reason you just stop talking

(Source: m-eg)